


Stop! Hammertime!

by StormyDaze



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: ? Idk I'm going with it, Blowjobs, Crack, Crack That Caught Feelings, Crack Treated Seriously, Hammer Sex, M/M, Object Insertion, Other, Spitroasting, Steve Rogers' Sexual Orientation is Double Dog Dare, Thor's hammer can only make those who are "worthy" experience an orgasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 12:38:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20291593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyDaze/pseuds/StormyDaze
Summary: If Steve and Thor want to take their relationship to the next level, they need to get someone else's approval first.





	Stop! Hammertime!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Wavesinger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Wavesinger/gifts).

> "Mjolnir/Steve Rogers/Thor" is a canonical tag. I'm delighted.

They’d been dating (Was this dating? Getting takeout after battles, cuddling on the couch going through Steve’s list of movies that a variety of people had informed him were essential for pop culture, some very handsy kissing? Steve wasn’t sure what counted as dating anymore, but it wasn’t like Thor was an expert either) for three months now, and Steve thought it had been going pretty well. But Thor seemed… off. Worried about something, maybe. It had Steve on edge, too.

“Okay, out with it,” he finally said. They were watching The Princess Bride and Steve was pretty sure Thor hadn’t heard a word of it, which was a shame because Thor loved sappy romances.

Thor crinkled his brow in that adorable confused puppy dog way that just made Steve want to kiss him. “Out with what?” he said.

“Whatever has you so distracted,” Steve said. “Did I do something wrong?”

Thor kissed him, and Steve relaxed into the softness of his lips and the pleasant roughness of his beard.

“You have done nothing wrong,” Thor said. “I confess I am… perhaps a bit anxious about something, but only that you might reject me because of it.”

“Never,” Steve said, giving Thor another little kiss. “Just tell me whatever it is, and we’ll take care of it, okay?”

Thor took a deep breath. “Oh love of my life, I should like to progress our relationship. I think it is time that you met Mjolnir.”

Now it was Steve’s turn to do the confused puppy dog frown. “I’ve… met Mjolnir? You use it for every battle.”

“Well, yes,” Thor said. “But you must become more _intimately _acquainted before it can judge whether you are truly worthy of being my lover. Not that I have any doubts,” he added hastily, “but I cannot in good conscience proceed with a relationship that has not been approved by my longest and most loyal companion.”

“Of course,” Steve said. This was weird, but they dealt with weirder every day, and if this was what Thor needed, Steve was willing to give it to him. “What do I have to do? Hold it?”

Thor blushed. “It has another power, one that is… less well known. It bestows orgasms upon those it deems worthy, if the circumstances are appropriate.”

“I have to fuck your hammer.”

“You don’t have to!” Thor said. “But I would not be comfortable continuing our relationship until Mjolnir has confirmed your worth with orgasmic bliss. I realize this is a peculiar thing to ask of you, Steve.”

Steve thought about it. “Can you be there with me, while I do it?”

“You would not be disturbed if our first coupling was in the presence of Mjolnir?” Thor asked. He looked like he was about to shed tears of joy.

“As long as you’re with me, I’d be fine with anything,” Steve said.

He was only a little apprehensive when it came time to do the deed. Not about the actual act — he sized up Mjolnir’s handle and thought, _I’ve taken bigger _— but what if he wasn’t worthy? He wasn’t sure he could stand to lose Thor. But Thor believed in him, so he would just have to believe in himself as well.

He sat naked on the bed, eyeing the hammer. Thor was also naked, out of solidarity, which Steve very much appreciated.

“Shall I help prepare you, my love, or do you wish to do so yourself?” Thor asked, uncapping a bottle of lube.

“Are you allowed to?” Steve asked. “It’s not, like, cheating or anything if you’re involved too?”

Thor chuckled. “Mjolnir would not allow us to cheat,” he said. “And there is nothing in the rules that says you must endure this alone. We are partners, after all.”

“Okay, then,” Steve said. “If you don’t mind.”

“Lie back,” Thor said, squirting lube into his hand and rubbing it to warm it up. Steve did.

The first touch of Thor’s slick finger against his rim sent a shiver of anticipation up into the pit of his stomach. Steve threw his head back into the pillows as Thor slid one large finger inside him, slowly but unceasingly. It had been a long time since Steve had had anyone’s fingers in his ass but his own, and there really was just no comparison. He pulled his knees back a little farther, opening himself up for Thor’s convenience.

Thor fucked him slowly with his finger, taking great care to spread the lube around as much as possible. Steve found his muscles turning to jelly as he relaxed into the bed. He just never felt so calm as when he had something up his ass. The stretch and the fullness and pleasure made him feel content and floaty in the best way. “More,” he said.

Thor obliged, adding a second finger. The stretch turned into a burn, like a sore muscle after a good workout, and Steve rocked his hips, grinding down on Thor’s fingers. The angle of his hips nudged Thor’s fingers up against his prostate, and he let out a small moan.

“Ah, you like that,” Thor said, and Steve could hear the fond grin in his voice. He twisted his finger to hit Steve’s prostate again, and Steve fisted his hands in the sheets to keep them off his cock, which was hard and red and leaking precome against his stomach. He thought that if he touched himself, he’d come much too quickly, before Mjolnir had even been introduced to the equation.

Steve couldn’t help jerking his hips up when Thor slid a third finger in. Thor’s hands were bigger than Steve’s, and this was more than Steve had taken since the ‘40s, and it felt so amazing that Steve felt like he was flying. He wondered if Thor could get his whole hand in there. Something to try for next time, maybe.

“What position would you prefer?” Thor asked, when Steve was so stretched and loose and relaxed that he thought he might melt right into the sheets. Steve hauled himself up on his elbows to look at Thor. Thor’s cheeks were pink, and his cock, larger than any Steve had ever seen, stood up straight against his stomach. For a moment, Steve was genuinely touched that Thor was so turned on just by seeing him like this. Then he had a brilliant idea. He scrambled to his hands and knees.

“Can you put Mjolnir over here?” he asked. “Maybe on a pillow or something so I can, uh—”

“Whatever you wish,” Thor said, kissing Steve on the forehead before positioning the hammer appropriately. He squirted some more lube on his hand and slicked up Mjolnir’s handle until it dripped down onto the sheets.

Steve lined himself up and then tilted his head back to look up at Thor as seductively as possible. “Can I blow you?” he asked.

Thor grinned. “I would much enjoy that,” he said. It took them a few minutes to work out the positioning, but eventually Steve had his head in Thor’s lap and Mjolnir pressed up against his hole. He leaned back, feeling the hammer’s handle slide past the ring of muscle and deep into his ass. His eyes rolled back in his head. The hammer stretched him so wide that it ached, but he was so full and it was so wonderful. He paused for a moment to let himself adjust, and then continued to ease backward until his ass cheeks brushed against Mjolnir’s metal head. He gasped ragged breaths and stayed there, trembling.

“Steve? Are you all right?” Thor asked, sounding concerned.

“Perfect,” Steve gasped out. He took Thor’s cock into his hand and brought it to his mouth. From this position, all he could reach was the tip, but he licked over the slit and ran his tongue over the underside. A trickle of salty precome oozed out and Steve lapped it up eagerly. Thor moaned and gripped Steve’s head with his enormous hands, just holding him in place, keeping him grounded.

Steve leaned forward, pulling off Mjolnir until the end just stretched his rim, taking more of Thor’s cock. Just the head was big enough to make his jaw ache, and he couldn’t do much except suck on it and rub his tongue against the underside. When it hit the back of his throat, he took a deep breath through his nose, relaxed as much as he could, and swallowed Thor down, continuing to move forward until his nose brushed Thor’s musky blond pubic hair.

“Oh,” Thor said. “Oh, Steve, you’re so good, yes.” He continued to mutter praises, stroking his fingers through Steve’s hair as Steve withdrew, sliding back onto Mjolnir. This time, he managed to angle his hips just right, and Mjolnir’s handle pressed against his prostate in a way that had him seeing stars. He groaned around the tip of Thor’s cock and sucked more precome from the tip.

He began to rock back and forth, slowly at first but quickly picking up speed as he tested his limits. With each backward thrust, Mjolnir hit his prostate and sent bolts of pleasure unlike anything he had ever experienced zinging through his body. When he rocked forward, swallowed down Thor’s cock, his throat convulsing around it in a way that Thor, based on the sounds he was making, found quite enjoyable. Steve’s own cock slapped against his stomach as he thrust back and forth. On his hands and knees, he couldn’t reach it without losing his balance, but stuffed as he was from both ends, he couldn’t care less. 

Thor’s hips began to jerk up, chasing Steve’s mouth when he leaned back into Mjolnir, and Steve could barely breathe but he didn’t _care, _he was drowning in sensation, his mind drifting and his perspective narrowed down to the stretch and the fullness. There was no pain now, only pleasure and the squelch of lube and Thor’s groans and the heat building up inside Steve, more intense than he’d ever felt before.

“Steve, I’m going to—” Thor said and that was all the warning he got before Thor’s hot come was pouring down his throat. Steve gulped as much of it as possible, but it spilled out of his mouth and splashed down his chin. He jerked backwards, trying to fill his lungs with air, and Mjolnir pushed into him and he came like a lightning strike. His vision whited out and he shook with the best orgasm he’d ever had, a thousand times stronger than anything he’d ever experienced before, and his arms gave out underneath him and he collapsed face-first into the mattress as waves of pleasure tore through him and his own come puddled beneath his stomach.

When he finally came back to himself, his stomach was sticky with rapidly-cooling come and his oversensitive ass ached around Mjolnir, not helped by the awkward position he was in. But Thor was carding his fingers gently through Steve’s hair, and Steve was so hazy with endorphins that all he could do was stare dopily up into Thor’s eyes. He thought he must look like a well-fucked wreck, with come all over his face and his ass in the air, but Thor seemed to find it endearing. He pulled Steve off the hammer and gathered him into his arms and kissed him gently but intensely.

“Does that mean I’m worthy?” he asked. His throat was sore and his voice was hoarse.

“Oh Steve,” Thor said, kissing him again. “I always knew you were.”

Steve sighed happily and leaned his head on Thor’s shoulder as sleep overtook him.


End file.
